Tired of fighting!

The distance from my family has really been getting to me.  It has been six months since I've last seen my family!  It hurts so bad my body literally aches.  As I anticipate the upcoming trip we have planned, I have realized a few things over the past few weeks.  The past few weeks, I have found myself feeling so unhappy.  Things that once made me fill with joy didn't anymore.  Little things really made me angry.  My anger was surfacing so easy (something I have worked on for years, releasing that anger to the Lord before it erupts).  I was just not satisfied with anything.  My poor husband was doing everything right.  He was patient and showed so much grace to his inconsolable confused wife.  I was angry with myself for being angry with him for the little things (we literally had a fight over him not being able to find a pair of Jayme's socks fast enough for me). 

I was confused, finding myself thinking, "he's (Jason) doing everything right, why isn't this enough? Why isn't this making me feel better?"  At the beginning of our car trip to the Kancamgus hwy and having yet another unsatisfying moment with my WONDERFUL little family, I realized as I sat sulking in silence what it was...what this unexplained unhappiness was!  That night (after repenting and asking for forgiveness yet again from my husband and children for the morning explosion) in the quiet of my own bedroom, I fell to my knees asking my heavenly father to fill the needs of my heart!  These things that I was expecting my husband to fulfill and thought "if only I could be with my Oregon family, everything would be ok".  God heard me!  This is not a new idea for me, I know that God alone is the only one that can truly meet my innermost needs.

That night, I slept better than I had in weeks!  Jason and I have had such a blessed time with each other, finally enjoying each other’s company again!  We have experienced a lot in our ten years together; this has been a difficult year for us.  No one has ever said marriage is easy, this year with the added stress of developing ourselves as a family within a new community and church family makes our efforts even more difficult.  Satan knows how to work against us or worse get us to work against us but it brings such peace to my heart knowing that we have faithful prayer warriors behind us each day!  God's army is greater than any and HE is fighting for us...with us!  I got too tired to fight anymore, too tired to fight with the devil, my family, and myself....I gave it up to the Lord, just as he was sitting there waiting for me to do!

Will you join us in praying against the devil in our home?!

I have been humbled to think that God knows the strength of our relationship with him and each other.  He put us right here right now because as difficult as we might think it is, he knew we would be drawn closer to Him and each other!  Thank you Jesus for never giving up on us!

Leap of Faith not Fear!

Beautiful snow falling outside, lovely worship music playing, babies resting...it's time to record the scrambling of thoughts and emotions I've had over the past few weeks!


Not one day goes by that I don't think something like this to myself, "What a different life we are living than what we expected", "Never in my life did I dream I'd be doing.........(this or that)", "What are we doing", etc.  Each day (well at least I try to everyday), I make a choice to have a good attitude.  Some days when others are visiting or sharing about how nice it is to have grandma and grandpa, aunties, uncles, best friends (ones they've grown up with), siblings, etc. close by and available to offer support and help, I struggle to see that my life and exactly where I am is what God has specifically and specially designed for me and my family!  It is quite humbling to put yourself out there over and over again to introduce and meet new people and ask for help from new friends, however, I am continuously reminded that it's not about me :)!!!


Don't get me wrong here, our families are so amazing and have been blessed with the capabilities to come visit with us often and we are so very thankful for that!  I write these things not to make people feel bad for talking about, enjoying, or having family close to them; I write it to share how God has lifted both Jason and I up drawing us closer and closer to him over and over again!


As hard as it was to leave such amazing family and friends back in Oregon, I am humbled again and again by people right here in NH that hear about "our story" and feel moved to share their life and story with us!  To God be the glory, we loved watching God work in us (shaping our hearts), use us (regular daily sinners) for His glory, and watching those around us grow in faith in Oregon.  When we moved, we felt like we didn't have a place here but God was quick to remind us that our "place" is not on this earth.  He was quick to remind us that our focus should not be on ourselves but on bringing others closer to knowing him!  We are excited to be praying about how God is working to connect us to a church and community family here.


With all of that being said I will share something new with you!  We have been "holding" onto something of this world we left behind in Oregon.  As many of you know, we loved our home in Oregon and God blessed us beyond what we could have ever imagined.  We had many blessed opportunities to share/open our home for things that brought people together to fellowship as friends and brothers and sisters in Christ.  We have prayed and sought wisdom, therefore, deciding it is time to let go of this last piece of our ministry in Oregon so we can better focus our attention on our discipleship in the northeast!


We need your help!  Please pray it sells in God's perfect timing at the right price!  My (Emily's) heart as we go forward with selling as this was a big part of my life back in Oregon (it's only a "thing of this world though", I can and I will let go of it for the good of the Lord, just may have a difficult time doing so). For wisdom for us here in NH to know what the next step is for our family!  Thank you for your continuous support and encouragement! 


P.S. Sorry (well not really, lol) for the frequent facebook posts, pictures and comments.  I love the awesomeness of technology these days!  I love that I can share my love for God, and my family with others!  I also love that it is a perfect place to encourage others! Ok done with my little side trackedness...hehe

Our Beautiful Blessing!

New beginning

Here we are starting yet another year.  As you well know, last year was one with many blessings for our family.  At the beginning of 2013, the primary things on my mind were the tiny new life that had recently been introduced to our family. 

Highlights of 2013:
Jan~Enjoyed our sweet 1 month old Jayme Renae; family get away to Seaside, OR for Em's birthday
Feb~Watched our two beautiful girls interact together
Mar~Celebrated Jason's birthday; Easter with family
Apr~Beth Moore Live with my mom and sister; Jason got a job offer in NH
May~We accepted the job in NH; began moving process and telling family and friends :(
June~Jason started his new job and moved; Girls and I stayed with family and friends for a few weeks; Em graduated from OSU with her masters in Education; Jayme got her first tooth and said her first word! We found amazing renters for our house in Oregon; Jason found us a nice place to live in NH
July~Girls and I got to join Jason in NH; found a great church to attend; met several new friends; Jayme started crawling, climbing, and pulling up on everything
August~Hannah Joy turned 3; Jason's mom Karen came to visit in NH; Jayme took her first few steps
Sept~Emily's parents came to NH to visit; We visited Storyland in Conway, NH; Jayme walked fast with the push toy walker
Oct~Jason's mom and grandma got to come visit us in NH; We celebrated Grandma Joann's 75th birthday with her in NH; We got to go on a train ride in beautiful North Conway, NH
Nov~We got to go to Oregon to visit family and friends!!! Jayme walked some and has four teeth; Em started a business with a friend
Dec~Jayme Renae turned 1!!! Jayme started walking all over the place.

What a beautiful year we have had!  While we experienced and still experience a lot of heart ache from being so far from family and friends, we are slowly adjusting to life on the east coast.  I have days or spurts of days where I miss my family and friends in Oregon so much, I wish I could just pack up and head back!  What I miss the most is intimate friendships, I miss having long deep conversations with people I have known for great lengths of time.  I am hoping friendships like this will develop over here over time. That's just it, I have to continuously remind myself of how long it takes to develop that level of trust in a relationship. I am thankful for cell phones, Skype, and facetime even though the time change difference is always a tricky thing to work with when scheduling times to visit with people.  The time change is always a reminder to me just how far away we really are. I have found ways to keep myself busy.  My friend Amanda and I have started our own business making natural beauty products.  It has kept us super busy, we actually had no idea how quickly the business would take off!  Her family has been a true blessing to us, including her parents who open their home to us while making our products.

Jason is enjoying his job and loves living in the snow country...even if he has to get up early to shovel the driveway some mornings.  He works hard and loves doing it!  Work is steady and bountiful here, which is a sure blessing for us!

Hannah is full of good ole 3 year old humor.  She has inherited her fathers great sense of humor.  She has us laughing all the time.  She loves playing in the "swow" (snow), reading books, watching movies, doing crafts, and of course playing with our kitty Tinker and her baby sister Jayme!  She has made several friends of her own and gotten to go to a few birthday parties since we've been here.

Jayme is our adventure kid.  She doesn't say much but is sure to climb or get into whatever she thinks she shouldn't.  We have definitely had to baby proof the house more for her than we ever had to with Hannah.  She is so fun to watch!  She loves to dance, eat, high five, make funny faces to get everyone to laugh, and play with her sister. 

We are blessed!  Thank you for sharing your life with us! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Love the Jason, Emily, Hannah, and Jayme!